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Chuck Norris

Post by Luxormaniac on Fri Feb 20, 2009 4:32 am

I recently noticed we have no Chuck Norris related thread. I seek to remedy that. Please post all your Chuck Norris jokes, etc. here. Yes, this is heaven for some people.

Without further ado-

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Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on. Not becuase Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

The Boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He does earth-downs.

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Re: Chuck Norris

Post by Root on Fri Feb 20, 2009 4:40 am

Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

Jesus walks on water, Chuck Norris swims through land.

Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
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Re: Chuck Norris

Post by AbsolDeath on Fri Feb 20, 2009 4:40 am

I hate Chuck Norris. >_>
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Re: Chuck Norris

Post by Luigi on Fri Feb 20, 2009 4:50 am

I was actually in Chuck Norris's Karate Program and have a Purple Belt Very Happy but since we moved to New Mexico I can't continue. =( Anyways with the jokes.

Chuck Norris's sweat can make a spaceship go to Pluto and back in 5 minutes.

Rock beats sicssors and sicssors beats paper and paper beats rock but Chuck Norris kicks all of their asses at the same time.


There is no such thing as Global Warming. Chuck Norris just got cold so he turned on the son.

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Re: Chuck Norris

Post by AbsolDeath on Fri Feb 20, 2009 9:54 pm

I'm so tempted to lock this but because I'm no Admin power whore I'll let you guys continue with your insanity.
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Re: Chuck Norris

Post by Root on Sat Feb 21, 2009 12:48 am

AbsolDeath wrote:I'm so tempted to lock this but because I'm no Admin power whore I'll let you guys continue with your insanity.

...aww come on absol. What do you have against Chuck Norris?

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

afro
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Re: Chuck Norris

Post by Luigi on Sat Feb 21, 2009 2:39 am

LOL xD Laughing Those are good ones.

Chuck Norris doesn't read. He stares things down to get the information he wants.

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Re: Chuck Norris

Post by Luxormaniac on Sun Feb 22, 2009 5:17 am

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

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Re: Chuck Norris

Post by ModaMurderer on Sun Feb 22, 2009 7:04 am

AbsolDeath wrote:I hate Chuck Norris. >_>

IAWTC. Suspect
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Re: Chuck Norris

Post by Blackfire54 on Sun Feb 22, 2009 4:33 pm

Chuck Norris insanity eh? YAYY!! Very Happy

if you can see Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris can see you
if you cant see Chuck Norris, then you better run for your life!

Chuck Norris can dig himself out of a bottomless pit with a spoon

ok, ok last one -
God said "Let There Be Light!"
Chuck Norris said "Say Please!"
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Re: Chuck Norris

Post by AbsolDeath on Tue Feb 24, 2009 5:04 am

It's almost pathetic to say this is the most popular thread at the moment. O_O
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Re: Chuck Norris

Post by Root on Tue Feb 24, 2009 5:21 am

If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more than you.

Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.


...Absol, how is this pathetic? How about you make your own thread? O.o


Last edited by Root on Tue Feb 24, 2009 5:23 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : pshh....chuck norris doesnt need reasons for editing)
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Re: Chuck Norris

Post by AbsolDeath on Tue Feb 24, 2009 5:42 am

A whole thread dedicated to JUST me? Very Happy
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Re: Chuck Norris

Post by Root on Tue Feb 24, 2009 3:01 pm

Where? What? Link me.
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Re: Chuck Norris

Post by Blackfire54 on Tue Feb 24, 2009 6:33 pm

Root your location has to be the most insulting thing to my location ever! (lol joking, but i still find it a little bit rude)

and no Absol, not a thread dedicated to you.. i think he means make a pokemon discussion thread that can (and will) be more popular, such as a particular pokemon D/P/Pt discussion

then again your the Admin, you can do what you want xD
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Re: Chuck Norris

Post by AbsolDeath on Wed Feb 25, 2009 4:50 am

XD A whole thread about me does seem just a TAD bit obnoxious. Very Happy gah ending post, back to science!
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Re: Chuck Norris

Post by Luxormaniac on Thu Feb 26, 2009 6:38 am

If pain is weakness leaving the body, Chuck Norris has the ultimate get-ripped-quick plan.

^Invented by myself while me and my friends were telling Chuck Norris jokes just moments ago.

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Re: Chuck Norris

Post by AbsolDeath on Tue Mar 03, 2009 5:14 am

Chuck Norris died.

How's that?
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Re: Chuck Norris

Post by Luigi on Tue Mar 03, 2009 5:52 am

Chuck Norris can divide by 0.

Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself and the back of the head.

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Re: Chuck Norris

Post by Blackfire54 on Tue Mar 03, 2009 7:58 pm

Dark Wolf... everyone can divide by zero, its basic math xP (apart from microsoft calculators.. which all say "Result of function is undefined" rofl)

Chuck Norris wasn't born, he punched his way out of the womb.
children wear Superman pyjamas, Superman wears Chuck Norris pyjamas!
Mr. T once beat Chuck Norris in a game of Tic-Tac-Toe.. in retaliation Chuck Norris invented Racism.
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Re: Chuck Norris

Post by Luigi on Wed Mar 04, 2009 4:15 am

My bad he divided 0.
Chuck Norris was born in a cabin that he built with his own hands.

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Re: Chuck Norris

Post by Root on Thu Mar 05, 2009 12:31 am

Chuck Norris can put toothpaste back into a toothpaste tube.
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Re: Chuck Norris

Post by Luigi on Mon Mar 16, 2009 4:44 am

Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries.

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Re: Chuck Norris

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